How to overcome Negative Beliefs that are Keeping you Stuck

We all suffer from unhelpful, negative beliefs but, some of us suffer more than is necessary.  Have you ever been in a situation where you had to make a life-changing decision and was faced with two choices: a bad choice which seemed like the attractive easy option and the best choice that looked tough to swallow. It might not be a life-altering situation in the sense of the heavens opening or life and death stuff – but you’d be amazed at how even the smallest choices that we make can have a knock on effect on the overall path we take.

In psychology, namely Cognitive Behavioural therapy (CBT) there is an argument that your thoughts will dictate your footsteps.  This ties in with Biblical truth, as Yeshua taught us the importance of our beliefs in co-creating our reality and then there is the favourite quote of Christian who favour CBT:

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2, ESV)

I have seen this truth in my own everyday experiences, the lies that we tell ourselves can easily become reality if and when we let them take root in our actions. So I’m really excited to start my Advanced practice Diploma in CBT shortly! (Continue reading)

How to overcome Negative Beliefs that are Keeping you Stuck



Soaring like the Eagle

This is the second part of my as yet unpublished book on experiencing Biblical Wholeness, you can read the first part here

eagle-and-a-yellow-decline-a-soaring-eagle-above-oceanA journey of healing that leads to freedom

As a Psychology teacher, teaching the psychology of stress was an important part of the curriculum.  I taught my students about the stress response, the causes of stress and how to manage it;  I even  joked that teachers have one of the shortest post-retirement death rates but I never stopped to examine my own experiences of stress until YAH gave me a wakeup call.

I can’t remember when it first started but gradually I began to notice that my general health was declining.  I seemed to be constantly falling ill;from colds and flu that made me take days off from work to being tired, agitated, angry and forgetting things, I began to notice that I was not ‘myself’ at all.   I cannot forget one incident where I even had to be carried away by ambulance men in the middle of the teaching day because I had somehow managed to sprain my back.  I was in the middle of class and I turned to write a note on the board and as I stretched upwards I froze in excruciating pain.

I could hardly move.

I turned myself just enough to look at my students quietly getting on with their work and said in a very calm voice:

“I’ve just hurt my back can someone go and get a first-aider!”

And guess what their reply was?

“Miss is this a psychology test?”

At that point my calm slipped a little, I guess it was the fear that I wouldn’t be  taken seriously, so through slightly gritted teeth I said:

“no, this is not a test I really am in pain, can someone go and get a first aider PLEEEEASE!”  and off they went.

That was me through and through, I was queen of calm back then and I thought it was a good thing but now I realise that it was  faulty coping strategy which actually cost me my health!  This was yet another example of continuously pushing my body and striving for perfection which negatively impacted on my well-being!  After a while, I began to experience muscle fasciculations and pain across my body, I didn’t realise it then but my body was talking to me telling me to stop and rest; unfortunately I didn’t listen. Continue reading Soaring like the Eagle

Sharing my testimony of God’s goodness to me

Dear friends,

I know it’s been a while since I have properly been here but today I just wanted to come over and share this testimony with you all, the first three paragraphs are a short background and after that is the testimony.

You know that things have been tough for me both health wise and financially, I fell ill in 2008 due to excessive stress and work and left my job in 2009 partially as a consequence of this but would have probably stayed on if God had not asked me to leave.  I have worked sparadocially since then knowing that it is not God’s will for me ‘to work’ in the same field/role that I had been in.  In 2010 my hubby and I had our traditional wedding, a small intimate affair in my dad’s house and in the same year we lost our own home.  We moved ‘temporarily’ into his mother’s house as she was away for 6 months, when she returned hubby remained and I moved in with my dad.  This was the case until January this year.

In around February/March hubby began to experience strange symptoms (I won’t go into the details) but we were worried, he was on antibiotics for a bit, went to A & E and even was referred to a specialist.  Slowly, hubby began to hear God asking him to “come out of her” ie. the slave system of the work he had been doing.  He was working so many hours, trying to be a man of excellence and integrity but the more he gave never seemed to be enough, in fact his co-workers became jealous of his success and started to plot against him.  After taking nearly a month off due to illness, he finally accepted that God wanted him to leave his place of employ and start his own company.  So he did.

My husabnd’s last pay package came in, we used it to set up the company and live.  We felt so sure that the business would be successful from start as many of his previous clients on hearing that he had left asked him to contact them, but every door we had previously thought would lead us to a fertile plane had a no entry sign on.  It seemed that financially we were in a tight spot, we only had £30 left to go on food and electricity.  We had two choices in front of us:

  1. Try and do something to bring in money e.g. work, beg or borrow.
  2. Trust in God in what He was teaching us and showing and see whether He really is El Shaddai

We decided to do the latter.

The testimony Continue reading Sharing my testimony of God’s goodness to me

Another look at psalm 119

I love the psalms but I have always shied away from psalm 119, maybe it was its length or all those references to testimonies, precepts and instructions, but on Wednesday I was given homework to read it.  So on Thursday during my prayer time, I read the first 25 verses, not so bad, then Friday I read the whole thing through.  Why?

There was something about the intensity of the words that gripped me, I could feel the juxtaposition of faith and love struggle alongside fear and torment, and I could see myself in those lines.  I have uttered these words before, I have felt this way, I am here.

Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word.
It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.

Verse 67 & 71

Sometimes the only time when we truly seek God is during and after affliction, affliction may be a form of God’s judgement, a consequence of our own behaviour.  From this judgement we learn just how mighty and awesome God is and realise that there is truly none like Him, our desire becomes to learn more about this awesome God and walk in His ways.

81-83My soul fainteth for thy salvation: but I hope in thy word.
Mine eyes fail for thy word, saying, When wilt thou comfort me?
For I am become like a bottle in the smoke; yet do I not forget thy statutes.

Sometimes the pain of waiting is next to torturous, the only thing we can do is to diligently seek for and hope in His Word to comfort and redeem us.  We faint but yet His Spirit keeps us in the journey.

92-93 Unless thy law had been my delights, I should then have perished in mine affliction.  I will never forget thy precepts: for with them thou hast quickened me.

Every other line seems to be a heartfelt plea for help, then praise and then a deeper seeking of the Word of God.  These are our 3 weapons that we should use in good and bad:

  1. Prayer from an upright heart
  2. Praise, worship and thanksgiving
  3. Reading the Word and meditating on His law

God has promised to deliver us and rescue us, our situation is not forever.  I will have heart and hope in the Lord of Heaven and Earth.


Broken Believers

It hurts me to know that there are so many broken people in the world, living in this world is hard I get it but don’t like it.  Lately, God has been reaching into the deepest and darkest core of me and bringing out secrets that I have been storing, as ever decaying food to nibble on yesterday and today.  I have really known despair.  But, I am heart-broken to find that so many of my brothers and sisters are living in pain, broken and rejected by those people who should be closest to helping them.  It’s not a crime to be hurting and broken, yet many a time other Christians make us feel like it is, hurting people are ignored because of fear or self-righteousness I don’t know and these people are left to go it alone.  Have you ever known someone who has committed suicide because there was absolutely no one to be their friend?  I am so glad that when I needed help and those in the ‘church’ didn’t want to help me that God sent His angels to show me unconditional love, I will never forget those people because God used them to reach out to me and pull me up from the creatures in the deep, dark waters.  Won’t you be the same for someone who is hurting today? Continue reading Broken Believers

A prayer of Spirit and of Faith – part 1

I have been incredibly blessed through reading the blogs I visit each week, not only do I get to learn about what God is doing in your lives but I also learn new ways to approach challenges and hardships that I may face.

An example of this are a few blog posts I came across in relation to praying in faith.  I wouldn’t say that I’m a fiery prayer warrior so reading these posts really caught my attention, not just because of the testimonies but because of the knowledge and understanding of the battle we are in (more on this later).  I think from that day I made a conscious and unconscious effort to become more purposeful in my prayer life.

Possibly a few days later after forming this conviction my hand fell onto a particular psalm,as I read through it I knew that this psalm would become one of my favourite scriptures.  I see this psalm as a prayer of faith, but most importantly it is a prayer of spirit and of faith.

Continue reading A prayer of Spirit and of Faith – part 1

Prayer Request

This post is a bit unusual for me in that it takes the form of a prayer request and a post (I guess) all in one.  Please read through and if you would join me please pray regarding this issue with me whenever you feel moved to this week.

Beautiful Giftings

Why is it that more often than not it is those who have the most beautiful gifting to minister to others that are held most securely in chains of bondage?

This thought has been on my mind since Sunday because I have a very dear friend who is in such a situation.  My friend who I will call LN, was baptised nearly two years ago and prior to that she had been ministering through her local church choir; her gifting is such that anyone who hears her ministering is moved to tears.  Now, as far as I am aware she no longer attends church and she no longer ministers but she is still singing but this time not for God.  She has been here before and it worries me because I saw how much it changed her behaviour and her attitude towards herself the first time around and hear echoes of it rebounding once more.  My friend has not had an easy life, she has many wounds which I can see are holding her bound.  She needs love and is being held back by fear.

I saw my friend this weekend and heard her sing, she has such a beautiful voice, I am so proud whenever I hear her.  I know that she also has a kind heart and excellent intentions underneath everything, and knowing this I was especially saddened because I know regardless of how beautiful the gifting and how excellent the intention it is not enough to enable us to stand in God’s eyes.

Why do we have to experience so much pain in this life?  Why do we have to carry around so much baggage and damage inside of us?  Why do we have to become lost before we can be found?  Why can’t this life just bruise and hurt us less?

When I think about the human condition I feel so sad, we are all so desperate in our needs and frailties.  We need to be loved and chase after love in all the wrong places.  We need to feel esteemed and look for status in the world.  We need to feel necessary in such an immense creation that we happily live a life bound in chains in order to fulfill this goal.  We all do.  Why?  Why do we try to achieve all of this through our own might and in our own way when all it does is push us further away from the one who can still all our fears and heal all of our wounds?

What God wants from us, what we need for ourselves seems to go against human instinct and understanding.  Our need for self-preservation, love and esteem drives us onwards when God is saying to us, “Stop!”

“Stop striving, stop trying, stop reaching and just let it go.  Give it all over to Me, trust in Me to heal you, to comfort you, to esteem you, to love you; believe that I know best and follow Me.”

So simple yet so hard.

This is a painful love that comes with giving your heart over to God, the type of love that is bittersweet.  Bitter in that it requires change and sacrifice that we may feel too stretched to give, overwhelmed because we may experience more pain than that which we knew whilst we were in the world but…

sweet too.  Sweet because overshadowing all of the above is a love so real and pure that to taste it is to feel your heart-break and heal again in an instant.  An acceptance so complete that you know that you have found your home.  A fullness so heavy that it can only be the weight of God’s glory living and growing within you day-by-day.  This is what I want for my friend, this is what I want for all of us.

Yes, the world may seem like an easier road to walk when we compare it to the sacrifices that God will ask of us to make.  But this world has no meaning and definitely no love except through Him.  I see more clearly my life when I look at my friend, that our fears and our desire to be loved so wholly, intensely and unconditionally is cruelly used by the deceiver to keep us bound in chains.  Today, this week I want to pray against this in my friend’s life, in my life, in your life; join me and pray.

I have written a short prayer and attached a reflective song which follows but please feel free to add your own words, reflections and even any initials you want prayed for.  Please also forward this post to others who may wish to join hands in this.  I would also invite you to read a similar post by my good friend Amy called Love from a Higher Perspective, her post really did speak to me particularly in this situation.

Many Blessings



Dear Father,

Please have mercy on LN and all others joined in this prayer in one accord. Please show us that You are God and that before You there is no other.  Lord God, let us see that You are the Way, the Truth and the Life and that without You all routes lead to death and destruction.

Lord, let us know that You are the Eternal Comforter and Lover of our soul.  That there is no love greater or stronger than the love that You have for Your children.  Lord, I pray that You will fill us up with hope, eternal hope in You which will bring about fruitfulness.

Lord, I pray that You will bear us up in the midst of the storms that we face, so that when all is said and done, we may live and stand to glorify You.

Lord, may it please You to answer this prayer and bring life where there is death.

In Yeshua’s Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen.


Living for Your Glory by Tim Hughes

This week I am linking up with Soli Deo Gloria and Grace Cafe.

(sticky post)!!!The first day of my new life…?

When I told my husband Eke on Monday that it was the first day of my new life, his eyebrow rose as if to say “really, again?” and I was quick to explain that although I had other ‘first days’, that this day marked the first day of this era of my life just like the others had marked the entrance of transition in times past.  Monday the 25th of July 2011 was different because I woke up with the sensation that something fantastic was about to happen in my life based on God’s revelation and my acceptance that I am His own vessel, set aside for good works!  There seemed to be an extra brightness about the day, an increased clarity that made me feel alive in the Holy Spirit; I knew on that day, that was the day that I would write my affirmation.

What is an affirmation?  I hear you say.  Continue reading (sticky post)!!!The first day of my new life…?