Dealing with Peripheral Nerve Hyperexcitability (CFS, BFS, Isaacs)

I really need to offload that’s why I’m here, I need a place to process what I have been going through without any expectations.  I’m mainly writing this for me but if it helps anyone else out there that’s great.

I have so many emotions going around me at the moment, I’m grateful and thankful because on May the 6th I finally received a diagnosis of actually having an autoimmune illness after nearly 6 years of being looked down on by doctors, people in the church and family members.  To be honest I feel justified and vindicated, I thank God for this small victory.

What next?

I actually don’t know.  I nearly didn’t even attend the hospital appointment because of what it might mean to others of the ‘she doesn’t have enough faith’ camp and my relationship with Abba.  But as He is my Father and not some distant God I know that He cares more about my reasons for doing things and not so much the actual actions.  I didn’t want to go to the hospital for all the wrong reasons, namely fear.  I was afraid that it meant that I really didn’t have enough faith and I didn’t know whether that would effect my ability to receive healing.

It sounds crazy, but when you want something so much and you hear people saying things like going to hospital means that you’re not fully trusting God for your healing it can mess with your head.  The thing that saved me was YHWH Himself, He showed me these two scriptures:

“Isa 10:13 For he saith, By the strength of my hand I have done [it], and by my wisdom; for I am prudent: and I have removed the bounds of the people, and have robbed their treasures, and I have put down the inhabitants like a valiant [man]:”

“Ro 3:3-4 For what if some did not believe? shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect?  God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, and mightest overcome when thou art judged.”

Christians place a lot of store on having enough faith to get the things you want, but I’m more inclined to think that their perspective of faith is flawed.  As my dear husband says, faith isn’t about your ability to pray for something and receive it, it’s the ability to keep on trusting in God while you’re waiting for it to come.

That’s why I actually tend not to use the word faith as I think it’s not properly used, I prefer to use the words belief or trust.

Anyway, these scriptures freed me up to make a decisiion not born out of fear to go to the hospital and I’m really glad I did.  Do I believe that I will receive my healing?  Of course I do, I don’t doubt it but the journey towards it is hard.

Just because you believe something and trust God doesn’t mean that you are not experiencing pain, sorrow or anything else that comes with the territory.  Illness is hard, but it’s something that strengthens and purifies you and your relationship with God like nothing else can.

So as I said, what’s next?

Ok, I do and I don’t know.  I’m just taking one day at a time but I do have some plans up my sleeve.  One big one is diet, as I’ve noticed that certain foods trigger off and make the symptoms worse e.g. stimulants such as cocoa, palm fruits such as coconut, dates and palm (oil), gluten, dairy and some other stuff that I can’t recall.  I had a horrible flare-up the other day and I’m sure it was a consequence of eating something I shouldn’t have (long story).  Anyway, I’ve started to keep a food diary as I’m now on the re-introduction phase of my elimination diet.

Generally, I feel a lot better in my self apart from the flare-up yesterdayand now feeling quite raw but, I know that it’s going to take all of my strength and a lot of Grace while this is worked out.

Anyway, I just wanted to process.  I don’t want nor expect any comments but I just wanted this out there.  If you are going through PNH or a chronic illness and want to connect please leave a comment and if you are a Believer you can also visit me at my ministry website.


8 thoughts on “Dealing with Peripheral Nerve Hyperexcitability (CFS, BFS, Isaacs)

  1. My dear sister…just some thoughts as I read…

    We will all be healed, but some will not be until the next life. Paul, a man of tremendous trust in the L-rd, had to leave someone behind because that person was very sick. He also instructed Timothy to drink a little wine for his stomach. Why? If we are all supposed to be healed in this life, why didn’t Paul simply heal the man? It says the prayers of a righteous man avail much. Paul was certainly a righteous man. And why didn’t he advise Timothy to just “have faith”. Wine, in that situation, was medicine. Why advise to take medicine if “faith” was all we need?

    I agree that trust is a better rendition than faith and, along similar lines as your wise hubby, I think it is about trusting Abba in the midst of things rather than trusting Him for things. I know He is my Provider and my Healer, but I trust His judgment as to how and when He will do those things.

    Nothing happens that He does not either allow or cause and He promises to work ALL things for good. I think of Joni Erickson Tada. She prayed and believed so hard for a miracle. Yet, she also later realized that her wheelchair was a podium that she most likely would never have had otherwise. She has reached more people for Yeshua in her wheelchair than many of us have opportunity to reach without one.

    Another thing…would those who judge your faith take their loved ones to a doctor if their loved one was having a heart attack or broke their leg? Why? Why go to a doctor ever? They don’t need a diagnosis! Just pray and be healed! There is a disconnect in their thinking that they do not even realize they have. Why is it OK to go to the doctor to find out what is wrong, but not OK to accept treatment?

    So, yes, dear sister, it is about trust…from start to finish. And ALL will be healed, but not all immediately and not all in this earthly life. Whatever is going on, we have a mission while we are here. And, for some dear souls, their mission is to reach the doctors, nurses and other patients they come in contact with. Or, it is to be a shining light of trust in the midst of trial that someone is observing…that someone needs to see in order to know that G-d is real.

    People can write a healing off as coincidence or misdiagnosis. Or, they can acknowledge the healing and then quickly forget it. What is not easily forgotten or written off is the testimony of someone exhibiting grace and trust while in the fire.

    Hugs and blessings,

    1. Hi Abigal, thank you for love clearly seen through your words. I can see that you sense my pain and frustration probably because you have experience of chronic illness via your dear husband.

      It is definitely not an easy road, much is not understood and people often give opinions without any knowledge of what it means to live with a chronic condition.

      This journey has taught me a lot, especially when it comes to listening to others. I barely listen to doctors, if I had I wouldn’t be were I am today.

      I agree with many of the things you have mentioned, of course we will all experience illness and this will and can result in death as clearly evidenced in the Bible. It would be false and naive to say otherwise.

      But I think there is a big difference from assuming that you will never get ill and die to believing that God will heal you. And I think this is where we may disagree dear Abigail.

      My biggest goal is to listen to the Voice of YAH above all else and I trust in the words He has spoken over, concerning and to me. With reference to Paul, you are right he was as righteous as he could be in Messiah not of his own virtue. Did he want healing? Yes. Did he ask the opinions of others? It doesn’t say, but it does say he went straight to the source and received his answer there. Even though the words of God were not exactly what he wanted to hear, he received shalom in them knowing that YAH would give him the grace to cope with it. Why I point this out is that he listened and believed God’s words above all else this is what gave him shalom and strength to carry on.

      From the examples of illness I have seen in the scripture of godly people, I would say that they prayed to God and waited for his answer and this was their source of strength, shalom and life.

      So dear sister, as you say not everyone will/can exerience healing and this road may be tough for me but I choose to believ on the Word of God given to me.

      The other thing I would say is not everyone has the same defintion of healing, so what I want and am looking to God for is not merely to do with no more of these horrible symptoms. Because this is my heart’s prayer I have already seen evidence of this healing coming to pass both internal and external. Oftentimes, the internal stuff triggers and maintains the external.

      I wrote this post because I had a horrible flare-up and just needed to get this out there, only YAH knows why.

      I love you more for caring xxxx

      1. Dear sister, if I may, I would like to clarify my own beliefs. I don’t think we disagree. I totally believe that our Abba can and does heal. I just don’t believe we can assume He will always do it the way we think He should. Sometimes, He does it supernaturally. Sometimes, He uses the medical system. Sometimes, He does it quickly. Sometimes, later. And sometimes, in the next life. But we know for sure it WILL come!

        I have experienced healing in my life. I had a condition that I sought Him on. I truly believe He said that He would heal me…and He did. It did not go to the doctor at all for that.

        Another time, for a similar condition, I believed He wanted me to see a doctor, which I did. They immediately hospitalized me straight from the doctor’s office and saved my life. Why the difference? Did I have more faith one time than another? I don’t believe so. I asked. I listened. I trusted in the answers…just as I see you doing!

        The point I was trying to make is that many who are so against a person receiving treatment have no problem with seeking doctors out for other things. I think that is hypocritical. They make blanket statements and condemn people who are walking in what they understand Abba to have shown them. And, worse, they are risking the lives of others. It is one thing to believe/know for yourself that you should not received a treatment, but to tell another one they should not receive treatment is, I believe, just plain wrong. I believe they are playing “god”.

        Yes, Paul did ask for himself. We do not actually know if that was a physical ailment or not. The expression “thorn in the side” back then typically meant having an adversary, which we know he had. There were people who were constantly coming against him and this may have been a particularly thorny one. We don’t know for sure. But, whatever it was, even if physical, we know he accepted the L-rd’s answer.

        What I was referring to with Paul was his asking for someone else. He had to leave that dear friend of his behind because the L-rd, apparently, said no to his friend being healed. People who insist on someone having faith to be healed don’t realize that the scripture also says it is the faith of the person doing the praying that is important. In other words, the sick one does not necessarily need to have faith. It is the one praying over them (the righteous one) whose faith is key. Yet, righteous Paul had to leave a very sick friend behind.

        So, what I am saying is that we need to be careful not to be presumptuous. Abba has His plans and they are perfect. Nothing happens that He does not allow or cause. Are we willing to accept His will (as did Paul with the “thorn”)? Or are we going to insist upon our “understanding” of things? I see you as willing to accept what Abba wants…willing to allow Him to work all things out in His time and in His way.

        You are asking. You are listening. You are willing to obey. I believe that brings true healing of all sorts. So many assume that healing is only dealing with the body. I see in what you wrote that you recognize that healing can be in other areas, too. You see what too many miss as they narrowly focus on only physical healing.

        Do you agree that, sometimes, the physical ailment comes in order to grab our attention so that He can deal with an inner issue? I know that my faith has been strengthened by the things I have gone through…and that includes the physical things.

        Blessings, dear sister. I add my “amen” to your prayers!

      2. Yes Abigail, I agree with what you have said – thank you so much for clarifying 🙂 I sent out an email via Mailchimp because YAH gave me a testimony, if you get a chance please have a read – it really blessed me. Shalom dear friend,

  2. Hi Florence, I’m glad you have answers to your health problems. Onwards and upwards now!!!! You are right in saying the ‘lack of faith’ theory is errant, as it causes heart ache to many believers. God Bless you and your family. Noddy

  3. Hello Florence, from Peter UK. There are many of us in this confusing disease. The answer is Christ Jesus. All I know is that I just keep declaring His Lordship over my body, mind, heart etc. In Him I feel I’m over the disease and in His peace – by Faith!
    Keep going Girl. You’re a great encouragement.

Please leave a reply, I would love to hear what you think

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s