This is the second part of my as yet unpublished book on experiencing Biblical Wholeness, you can read the first part here
As a Psychology teacher, teaching the psychology of stress was an important part of the curriculum. I taught my students about the stress response, the causes of stress and how to manage it; I even joked that teachers have one of the shortest post-retirement death rates but I never stopped to examine my own experiences of stress until YAH gave me a wakeup call.
I can’t remember when it first started but gradually I began to notice that my general health was declining. I seemed to be constantly falling ill;from colds and flu that made me take days off from work to being tired, agitated, angry and forgetting things, I began to notice that I was not ‘myself’ at all. I cannot forget one incident where I even had to be carried away by ambulance men in the middle of the teaching day because I had somehow managed to sprain my back. I was in the middle of class and I turned to write a note on the board and as I stretched upwards I froze in excruciating pain.
I could hardly move.
I turned myself just enough to look at my students quietly getting on with their work and said in a very calm voice:
“I’ve just hurt my back can someone go and get a first-aider!”
And guess what their reply was?
“Miss is this a psychology test?”
At that point my calm slipped a little, I guess it was the fear that I wouldn’t be taken seriously, so through slightly gritted teeth I said:
“no, this is not a test I really am in pain, can someone go and get a first aider PLEEEEASE!” and off they went.
That was me through and through, I was queen of calm back then and I thought it was a good thing but now I realise that it was faulty coping strategy which actually cost me my health! This was yet another example of continuously pushing my body and striving for perfection which negatively impacted on my well-being! After a while, I began to experience muscle fasciculations and pain across my body, I didn’t realise it then but my body was talking to me telling me to stop and rest; unfortunately I didn’t listen.
I lived to sleep so I wouldn’t have to deal with what my body was doing until finally it began to affect the quality of my sleep. I had problems falling asleep and staying asleep, my legs wouldn’t seem to stay still, they would move, tremor or shake and if that wasn’t bad enough I felt like something was crawling through my legs which would force me to move and shake them even more! Soon, this carried on into the day, I would be sitting on the bus, in a meeting or teaching and I’d have to move or shake my legs or arms every few minutes because I felt so strange inside. I know that people must have thought I was crazy, and I worried about it so much but I couldn’t help it, it was outside of my voluntary control. It was only later that I realised that I was suffering from ‘restless leg-syndrome’.
Since 2008, I have been diagnosed with a number of illnesses which each have a link to stress. I was diagnosed with non-specific stress-related illness, Anxiety, hypothyroidism, Depression, Restless Leg Syndrome, Benign Fasciculation Syndrome, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, Sciatica and Scoliosis to name but a few. Not all the diagnoses stuck, each time the symptoms shifted and changed a new diagnosis was sought, each test that came back contradictory or negatively stumped medical practitioners. I was like the woman with the blood issue I sought medical help and advice from physicians and alternative health therapists often spending hundreds of pounds in the hope that I would find something that would cure me but to no avail.
It soon became clear to me that this ‘illness’ was not something that medicine could fix but something for the hands of God alone. Maybe you can imagine how desperate I was for an answer, any answer to explain why I was feeling how I was and what treatments were available to help me. I was not even 30 and I felt like I was dying inside, in fact I wanted God to take my life as living had become a torturous nightmare to me. I yearned for children, a family, a normal life but there was no way I was going to subject my child to a sick mum or God forbid even worse a genetic predisposition to live like I was living, which was no life at all.
I praise God for His mercy and kindness because He has brought me to a place where even though I am not fully recovered my healing has come along in leaps and bounds! I am more whole than I ever was before and more than I could have even imagined when I started this journey.
I have discovered that Elohim puts us through a situation where we are at the absolute bottom so that He can lift us up. So this book is my experience of going from Ground zero and moving towards that mountain peak where I can soar with wings like the eagle (Isaiah 40: 31). This book is the footprints of my healing journey, written in such a way that I hope others will be able to follow and accompany me to that place of Divine wholeness (Shabbat Shalom).
The major focus of this book will be to help you align yourself (spirit, soul and body) with God so that His healing light flows through you, for it is only when we are in unity with God that amazing things begin to happen in our lives. God has shown me that this is truth and that it is His will to bring transformational healing to you in all areas of your life.
Don’t let Stress get the better of YOU!