I sit here and think about my life, my condition, my health.
I am talking to You now and know that a change is needed.
You have taught me many things here where I sit,
I see that I need to exert myself more in order to overcome, but what You are asking of me seems like such hard work.
I said to You, “I wish I could be normal, why do I have to be like You?”
And You replied “everyone who loves Me follows Me.”
I sigh because I know what I have to do, I know that I want to do it but I am scared also.
Scared to pick it up, scared to step out, afraid that I will drop it.
Then You remind me that you were afraid too, and that you dropped Your own several times but…
You gained so much love, support, strength and courage from those who loved you, who helped you stand back up and continue on.
My Father, on that day, what didn’t You do for me?
So what can’t I do for You?
I see You now standing and talking with the rich man,
He asks You “What can I do?”
You answer Him and say “Follow Me.”
But he is also afraid, too afraid in so many ways to step out and leave what he has known behind.
I don’t want to be like him, knowing what I should do but being unable to step out.
You are teaching me a new lesson here, that to love is to obey and to learn is to apply.
What use are knowledge, wisdom, revelation and understanding if it remains cloaked in silent darkness?
What You have taught me I have to apply,
What you say I must do.
Teach me to apply Your Word Oh Yah,
Show me how to apply Your Word.
Maybe, this is a new adventure, a new step, a new degree of glory but I am afraid,
I cannot explain why.
Maybe I’m afraid of the struggle I will face.
Is this Your passion here?
Teach me to be strong,
To find the courage to step out somehow,
To find the strength to continue and make my way to…
I don’t know where.
But please, but please, but please, but please, but please be near me… be with me.
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