I know it’s been a while since I have properly been here but today I just wanted to come over and share this testimony with you all, the first three paragraphs are a short background and after that is the testimony.
You know that things have been tough for me both health wise and financially, I fell ill in 2008 due to excessive stress and work and left my job in 2009 partially as a consequence of this but would have probably stayed on if God had not asked me to leave. I have worked sparadocially since then knowing that it is not God’s will for me ‘to work’ in the same field/role that I had been in. In 2010 my hubby and I had our traditional wedding, a small intimate affair in my dad’s house and in the same year we lost our own home. We moved ‘temporarily’ into his mother’s house as she was away for 6 months, when she returned hubby remained and I moved in with my dad. This was the case until January this year.
In around February/March hubby began to experience strange symptoms (I won’t go into the details) but we were worried, he was on antibiotics for a bit, went to A & E and even was referred to a specialist. Slowly, hubby began to hear God asking him to “come out of her” ie. the slave system of the work he had been doing. He was working so many hours, trying to be a man of excellence and integrity but the more he gave never seemed to be enough, in fact his co-workers became jealous of his success and started to plot against him. After taking nearly a month off due to illness, he finally accepted that God wanted him to leave his place of employ and start his own company. So he did.
My husabnd’s last pay package came in, we used it to set up the company and live. We felt so sure that the business would be successful from start as many of his previous clients on hearing that he had left asked him to contact them, but every door we had previously thought would lead us to a fertile plane had a no entry sign on. It seemed that financially we were in a tight spot, we only had £30 left to go on food and electricity. We had two choices in front of us:
- Try and do something to bring in money e.g. work, beg or borrow.
- Trust in God in what He was teaching us and showing and see whether He really is El Shaddai
We decided to do the latter.
I can’t even begin to express the awesomeness of the God of Creation. This past month I have experienced more miracles in my life than I have ever experienced before. I am humbled and awestruck by His love, mercy and grace. I feel as if I’m living in a virtual reality, my eyes are seeing, my hands are touching the manifestation of the seen from the unseen. When I think about it i know that it’s not because I am worthy or special, but because I made a decision to stop striving to make my life work and to put it all in His hands. He is honouring the seed of faith in my heart and is making it bring forth fruit.
In vain do you get up early and put off going to bed, working hard to earn a living; for he provides for his beloved, even when they sleep.
Psalm 127:2 ( Complete Jewish Bible)
Today, when I went to pray, I felt something blocking me. Yah showed me that I needed to confess to some negative emotions and thoughts. I confessed and repented before God before confessing to a dear sister, but it was so hard because I was so ashamed of myself. As I spoke to her, everything spilled out, my dirtiness was exposed and I was in tears. But do you know what? God had already spoken to her concerning me and my situation and had placed it in her heart for her to bless me, she would be the source of my next miracle.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9 (American KJV)
Why am I telling you all of this? Because I can no longer contain the reality of what I am seeing and experiencing, God is so very much alive and real and He is eagerly and expectantly waiting to pour out His blessings if we just stop trying to be God of our own lives.
Even though the miracles started 4 or 5 weeks ago, the devil has kept me from proclaiming it in the open firstly, for fear that by someohow saying it out loud they will somehow dry up and secondly, because i wanted to wait for the big one – the miracle of all miracles. But now I know that the deceiver used fear as a means of preventing me sharing the truth of God’s majesty and power.
I learnt a lot from the conversation with my dear sister, outside of the fact that God really is El Shaddai, I also learnt that confession is good for the soul as it takes away the spiritual barrier between ourselves and God and the person we have sinned against. I just can’t explain to you how much release and healing i experienced afterwards.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
Dear friend, if you are experiencing fear, are unable to let go and give God complete Lordship over your ife then you will never know just what God can do in and for you and you will be left under Satan’s hold. To me it feels like God is a proud parent, excitingly showing me just what He is able to do for me now that I’ve given Him the opportunity to serve me.
But, as the Tanakh says, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard and no one’s heart has imagined all the things that God has prepared for those who love him.”
1 Corinthians 2:9 (CBJ)
I know that I may slip tomorrow or even today and that things may not work out the way we would wish, but I also know that the deceiver can not take away what God has shown, taught and given to myself and indeed both my husband and I over the last month or so.
I just wanted to share this testimony because God is good and deserves to be praised and adored. I hope that this small testimony will encourage and bless others to allow Him to truly be Elohim in their life.
Shalom in Him